Bullying…what a bunch of bull.

Where did all this bullshit about bullying come from so suddenly? When did bullying become the scourge of the Western World? Had bullying become worse since we were children or have people just become too damn sensitive?

Kids are killing themselves because of cyber-bullying. A newswoman goes on a tirade because some viewer called her obese in a private email. So-called bullies are being killed in school by their “victims”.

Now don’t get me wrong, I hate bullies. I think they’re all cowards, BUT, bullying is a part of life. It’s almost a rite of passage in school, and in the “real world” bullies have even more power.

Of course, I am speaking from ignorance, because, as small as I was all through primary and secondary school, I was never bullied. Maybe I was too damn cute. Maybe it was because my grandmother baked a mean cake and I always had to get one for class parties. Or maybe my general attitude did not lend itself well to being bullied…

I recently heard a story about myself from when I was 5 and in primary school: There I was happily eating some Cheese Stix when some kid walks by and, for no reason other than to be a prick, knocks the bag out of my hand and spills the cheesy goodness all over the floor. As the story goes, I just sat there nonchalantly and when the teacher asked if I was going to clean up the mess I just said, “No. He spilled it, let him clean it up.”

Since then I was not bullied or picked on in school. And in the real world, any time I encounter one of these loud-for-no-reason bully types I simply don’t react the way they expect me to. This perplexes them and they tend to boil down like bhaji.

People are assholes. This is fact. Children are even bigger assholes. Children are basically tiny sociopaths, and they can be unnecessarily mean. So why not teach kids that bullies are real, that assholes exist, and the proper way to deal with them, i.e. IGNORE THEM. Rob them of their power. Or, and here’s an even better one: STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Contrary to popular teachings, some problems can be solved with your fists.

But most importantly, don’t be hypocrites. If someone sent you a private email voicing their concerns about your sustained obesity over the years and the example you may be setting for young people and you respond by calling him out on television and embarrassing him nationally, then you just became a bully.

AAAAAAAAAAAAND, let’s also not forget that the truth hurts. Not everyone that speaks frankly is a bully. Mayyyyybe, and this could be a bit of a stretch, mayyyyybe you’re just too fucking sensitive…

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