Bullying…what a bunch of bull.

Where did all this bullshit about bullying come from so suddenly? When did bullying become the scourge of the Western World? Had bullying become worse since we were children or have people just become too damn sensitive?

Kids are killing themselves because of cyber-bullying. A newswoman goes on a tirade because some viewer called her obese in a private email. So-called bullies are being killed in school by their “victims”.

Now don’t get me wrong, I hate bullies. I think they’re all cowards, BUT, bullying is a part of life. It’s almost a rite of passage in school, and in the “real world” bullies have even more power.

Of course, I am speaking from ignorance, because, as small as I was all through primary and secondary school, I was never bullied. Maybe I was too damn cute. Maybe it was because my grandmother baked a mean cake and I always had to get one for class parties. Or maybe my general attitude did not lend itself well to being bullied…

I recently heard a story about myself from when I was 5 and in primary school: There I was happily eating some Cheese Stix when some kid walks by and, for no reason other than to be a prick, knocks the bag out of my hand and spills the cheesy goodness all over the floor. As the story goes, I just sat there nonchalantly and when the teacher asked if I was going to clean up the mess I just said, “No. He spilled it, let him clean it up.”

Since then I was not bullied or picked on in school. And in the real world, any time I encounter one of these loud-for-no-reason bully types I simply don’t react the way they expect me to. This perplexes them and they tend to boil down like bhaji.

People are assholes. This is fact. Children are even bigger assholes. Children are basically tiny sociopaths, and they can be unnecessarily mean. So why not teach kids that bullies are real, that assholes exist, and the proper way to deal with them, i.e. IGNORE THEM. Rob them of their power. Or, and here’s an even better one: STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Contrary to popular teachings, some problems can be solved with your fists.

But most importantly, don’t be hypocrites. If someone sent you a private email voicing their concerns about your sustained obesity over the years and the example you may be setting for young people and you respond by calling him out on television and embarrassing him nationally, then you just became a bully.

AAAAAAAAAAAAND, let’s also not forget that the truth hurts. Not everyone that speaks frankly is a bully. Mayyyyybe, and this could be a bit of a stretch, mayyyyybe you’re just too fucking sensitive…

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Middle Class limbo

So, ummmm, this Middle Class thing…is this like a financial version of the Catholic purgatory where we have to wallow between the hell of not knowing how you’re going to pay your bills this month and the heaven of actually having money after your bills are paid?

It is such a cruel place of limbo. Every now and then you feel the flames of financial hell licking at your heels. Then, alternately, you get the feeling that are you right there, just out of reach of the Promised Land of extra money. A land of weekend getaways and carefree spending. Then, cruelly, the feeling is ripped away from you by the appearance of Unexpected Expenses…

Now, you may say that I am being a bit of a brat, complaining about not having enough money to spend after all my bills are paid, considering some people don’t have enough money to pay their bills at all. Even more so because my bills include payments for my nice new car, my nice house with the three a/c units, my huge pure-bred dog, my insurance that will ensure a stay at a nice PRIVATE nursing home, etc, etc. And to that I say, “Fuck you.” Because I’ve worked my ASS off to be able to complain about these things. And I look forward, one day, if I make it into the Promised Land, to complaining that the engine on my yacht is broken, or the membership at my private country club went up by $50. That would be paradise…

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Well, it took so bloody long to sign up for this thing and pick out theme, etc etc, that I’ve completely forgotten what it was I wanted to say!

It’s also very hot in my office right now because the damn a/c isn’t working so I’m in no mood to come up with anything at the moment.

That being said, here’s some food for thought that I’d previously published in a note on Facebook:

CHANGE YOUR VOCABULARY

In the movie ‘Amistad’, the lawyer representing the slaves comes to them to tell them that his strategy did not work and that they would be returned to their captors. He tells the translator to tell them that he tried. The translator says nothing. The lawyer asks why he won’t tell them and the translator says he can’t, there’s no word in their language for ‘try’, “You either do something, or you don’t.”

I’ve always found that to be a powerful moment. Think about it: the word ‘Try’ doesn’t even exist in other languages! So when you’re asked if you did something, there’s no safety net, there is no “I tried”. The answer is either yes or no, what a fantastic concept!

Think about how often you use the word ‘Try’. I’m sure it’s at least once a day. Someone tells you do this, and you say “I’ll try”. or someone asked, did you do this? and you say ‘I tried, but…”

Here’s my challenge to each of you: remove ‘Try’ from your vocabulary, along with all it’s cousins like “I’ll do my best” or “I’ll see what i can do”, etc.
Either do something, or don’t do it. And when you couldn’t do something, don’t say “I tried”, like that’s some kind of excuse. Just say “No, I didn’t” and deal with the repercussions. Be more accountable for your actions or inactions. Trust me, it’s harder than you think…

And to quote Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage in ‘The Rock’:
Cage: I’m doing my best!
Connery: Your best? Losers always whine about their best…winners go home and f*ck the prom queen.

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